The Ballad of Jeremiah Archer
A character whose story was only ever told for 24 hours…until now!
Life was never going to come easy for Jeremiah Archer. A long standing member of the community of Trinity Creek, USA, Jeremiah’s bar was one of the best places to get a beverage on a hot summer’s night. Mostly due to the fact that it was the only bar in town.
The competition stayed away from Trinity Creek due to the experience Archer had in the bar tending scene. He took the management position of his first bar at the age of 8 and a half, just six months after his parents flew the coup and left him behind. All alone, he plucked up the testicular fortitude to make his way through life, trusting nobody and making sure he was always in charge of the money. Many years and bars went by before he settled on the corner of Trinity Creek, with his permanent residence known only as…”Saloon”.
As the years went by, Saloon became a decrepit place. Unclean, unsanitary, uneventful, Archer kept as much money as he could for his eventual retirement, spending little on resources or entertainment. But the entertainment was always popular. Singing and dancing graced the incredibly tiny stage of Saloon, but none quite as popular as Harmony Something. A star in the making, crowds would flock to hear her sing. Archer was in awe of her and felt ever so lucky when she reciprocated the feelings he had. Their affair was only brief, as her question to him about wanting to have children wasn’t taken the way she wanted. Jeremiah never intended to have children, never wanting to repeat the behaviour of his own parents, but always told himself that if he did become a father, he’d be responsible. Sadly he never informed Harmony of this feeling. Soon after, she left town.
Several years went by when Harmony returned to Trinity Creek and went back to work for Jeremiah, this time with her younger sister Melody. Their double act “The Something Sisters” had some fine tuning to make, in Jeremiah’s opinion. He even attempted to help with the choreography, a word he was never too good at pronouncing. Archer was always overly critical of their performances and paid them the bare minimum. Saloon was doing well, though you’d never know by looking inside.
Years later, a new sheriff arrived in town. Sheriff Doba had the intention of making sure Trinity Creek was protected at all costs and implemented several new rules. She also met with the local businesses to see about raising money for the town. Archer brought forth a strange new concept for the saloon: buy two drinks, pay for another. While this idea was frowned upon, the Something Sisters suggested a new show that would raise funds. Archer wanted to be in charge of the money side of things, but Harmony noted how he let slip he would be taking a certain percentage. She kept the money to herself to take to the fundraising office. Jeremiah didn’t take kindly to this, money being the one constant in his life that mattered the most.
After overhearing the sisters make arrangements with the sheriff to run the ticket sales away from the saloon, Archer made plans with the local pastor, Bishop Ross, who did not take kindly to the new sheriff and her plans to change the town of which he was so fond. They collaborate on a scheme that would see the sheriff flung from a rogue horse and taken to an underground lair by the bishop and Archer. Keeping Doba in captivity, they set about ensuring the town ran to their way of thinking, keeping the traditions of days gone by in the classic storytelling way: The STory Party was born. They successfully rigged the election for a new mayor to be won by their chosen representative, railway tycoon Duke Mallard, and brought in prospector Speedy Sam and emporium proprietor Max Spurlock Sr.
While he was enjoying the idea of being particularly evil, Jeremiah’s life was about to take a complete u-turn. Local undertaker Rick O’Mortis encountered the entire STory Party in their headquarters and unleashed a tirade of verbal abuse. He mocked Jeremiah, stating that his saloon was being run by guests and that his role as a father was pathetic. Jeremiah was perplexed, exclaiming that he did not have children. After an awkward exchange, Rick explained that Jeremiah was the father of Melody Something, whom he was currently dating. While Jeremiah was away doing evil things, Harmony had revealed to Melody they were not sisters, but mother and daughter, and that Jeremiah was Melody’s father.
The party kidnapped O’Mortis for his insubordination, despite Jeremiah being less than enthused about these shenanigans with the recent news weighing heavy on his mind. While under interrogation, Rick slipped through the badly tied-up ropes and escaped. In letters found years later, Jeremiah stated he had loosened those ropes, as a way to help the man who’d brought these revelations to him get away.
A dumbfounded Jeremiah went back to Saloon, when he encountered Melody, who was now going by her real name of Louise. Their conversation started with some initial awkwardness, during which he confessed he had no idea she was his daughter. He admitted he felt conflicted in his feelings towards Harmony, or Rose as she would now go by. Always feeling she could have any man she wanted, he made the assumption that was exactly what she was doing. The conversation went better than he could have ever expected. While he quite rightly was brought to task regarding his treatment of his entertainers, or making the allusion that things would have been different had he known, he lamented that he could never go back on his choices he had made, but now had the chance to make things right.
Jeremiah then attempted to mend fences with Rose. Another emotional conversation saw him reaffirm his intention to be a better man and do right by those for whom he felt responsible. Bishop Ross interrupted to request Jeremiah’s presence as they did “some evil shit”. Jeremiah attempted to decline as respectfully as he could, stating he had new responsibilities that were more important to him than evil. With the bishop stating that he was either with them or against them, Archer confirmed his allegiance to his new family.
After many attempts to understand what he could have done to be a better man, with differing results, a “family” meal was arranged. Jeremiah, Rose, Louise and Rick all seemed positive that they could be a family unit. During the meal, Rose revealed to Louise that she asked Jeremiah if he wanted children, to which he had said no. She wanted to test him, since she already knew she was pregnant and wasn’t certain he would handle being a father. After an attempt to explain his feelings, Jeremiah seemed satisfied with his new lease on life and the family that had been unexpectedly brought into his world.
Now on the side of good, Jeremiah was thrust into the town altercation with the STory party, who were growing in numbers and, thanks to the vampiric lineage of Max Spurlock, were now vampires. After many of the townsfolk went down to defeat in a bloodthirsty mass battle of Rock, Paper, Scissors, the STory Party were down to one representative, Max Spurlock. He went on a rampage, taking down more of the townsfolk, including Rose. Jeremiah stood his ground and took down Spurlock once and for all, helping rid Trinity Creek of the STory Party.
Sadly, no more is known about Jeremiah Archer. His story was a complicated one that could never be fully told through historical records or written verse. In fact, his story didn’t exist until the weekend of 31st March and 1st April 2022. Nor did the story of Rose, Louise, Rick or the Story Party. Or anyone in the town of Trinity Creek.
It was all made up on the spot over the course of 24 hours.
Explanation? That’ll come in the next blog…
